I AM

I don’t police my blackness. I refuse to live in the constant fear of the “white gaze” and what “they” may say or feel about me. I’ve lived long enough to understand that I will never measure up to someone else’s expectations, let alone my own. My personal reflexivity captures the heart of an English teacher with a red pen; I am a major critic.

Are not we all? My question of EXCELLENCE lies not in the opposing spectrum I face throughout this world or in the oppressive system that guides America’s democracy but in self, in God and truth.

I am that I am. Black. Excellent. Inextricably linked to the harsh reality of my past both historic and contemporarily.

I am Black.

That can’t be arrested. It’s too strong to be occupied or overtaken. It’s too liberal to be conservative and to free to enslave.

I am Black.

The epitome of the earth’s crust burgeoning out the remaining parts that collectively generate power; ugly at its core, beautiful in its birth and powerful in its living.

I am Black.

Unapologetically.

I won’t stray from my poetic construction of the British language that immigrated on the tongues of thieves. My language ebonically is native as a leaf from a Fall tree.

It’s the utterance of an innate reconstruction of what was lost, taken, eradicated and exterminated yet it still rises.

Through ‘incorrect’ conjugations, we utter questions from existentialism to Zionism gaining curiosity from the world. We’re Black.

The rhythmic flows that blossom from the anatomical structure gains pause but imitation is evanescent, yet it’s eternal. It’s the voice of our ancestral soul reminding us that I AM HERE.

To some, they’ll never understanding BEING, let alone, BEING BLACK. To many, they’ll despise the mental incapacity of their mind to think beyond their socially constructed lens that defines themselves for themselves.

I AM BLACK, and SO IS MY AMERICA.

I understand your gaze and interest in understanding my behavior, it is you who seeks to know yourself for you don’t understand SELF thus you seek identity through false attempts to define me, but you should LET ME BE. BECAUSE I AM and FOREVER WILL BE BLACK; I AM AN AMERICAN SOUL.

AND IF YOU LOOK in the mirror, your reflection is an attempt to capture and retain my American Identity.

I AM BLACK, and so art thee.

Hello.

Dark Hand in Heavy Chains

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